We have just been through a world wide pandemic and in many ways we are still suffering from the aftereffects. Many say COVID-19 was a hoax, a manufactured reality. Many others dispute that saying, how can that be, my mother died of COVID, my father died, my sister, my brother, etc. However there would be no argument, if you understood the genealogy of disease; how illnesses are created, where do they begin, how do they grow, metastasis and end up killing a person of or millions of people for that matter.
Every illness, every disease is a delusion. The delusion begins with a thought, like any other thought. It is like an egg, at first it appears perfectly formed in the shell, until you crack it and realise it has already began to hatch or rot. You would never know looking on the outside, that anything was wrong, because it’s what on the inside that matters, what’s in the mind.
Let me tell you about a story about a man named Albert who one day had a thought. One day Albert was walking, and he stumbled. And for that moment, it seems to Albert that his leg, did not belong to him. This is how it begins. The leg was clearly Albert’s, it was attached to his body, when he pricked it, he felt pain. But despite that, the thought grew. Such is the power of a thought. With every day that passed, Albert became more and more certain that this was not his leg. He decided he did not want it anymore. And so one day he went to the hardware store…
I had a similar thought. One night I was doing a night shift, I was in a dark room, lying on a sofa, and I fell asleep. I dreamt that I had one leg, one of my legs was missing from the hip downwards. This is how it begins. I jumped from the dream and I stood up, and I came crashing down. Not like someone who fell backwards or fell forward, I came down as a person with one leg. I tried to get up, because I could clearly see my leg, but for the life of me, I could not. Thankfully, I already knew, the power of thought. I dragged myself to the sofa, looked at my leg, and convinced myself that the thought was just a dream, and that my leg worked fine, and was the end of that thought.
One day, I was scrolling my phone, and I came upon a post. A young lady from the Caribbean had died in her London apartment and it had taken weeks before anyone had discovered her body. The thought immediately occurred, what if this happened to me. This is how it begins. I am from the Caribbean and I live alone in my apartment. I immediately, rejected the thought. I said no, that can’t happen to me. But despite that, the thought grew. I then thought about my friends, other young women who had come from foreign countries to live in the UK and were living alone. I proceeded to check on them, I checked their Facebook, those who were not active, I tried calling. Before the end of the night, for the first time in my life, I was researching the symptoms of indigestion, I was sick. I was beginning to worry myself to death, so that I would die in my apartment and my body would be discovered weeks later. Such is the power of a thought. Even though I had rejected the thought that it could be me, I still believed it, I thought, it could be them. We are all one, If I think it about you, it is the same as thinking it about myself.
A few years ago, my niece came to visit me in St. Lucia from America. I was renting an apartment, but because I was building my home, I had no furniture. I had mattress, in front of the small TV we had in the living area. One day I come from work and see my niece with her boyfriend on the mattress and I thought I have to sit on this. This is how it begins. The second day, I came home and there they were, sitting on the only mattress we had, because we had no furniture. I thought this is getting under my skin. I said nothing, I did nothing, but despite that, the thought grew. A few days after my niece left, I was covered in boils, I had pityriasis. I had to stay home from work for two weeks treating my disease. Such is the power of a thought.